Congratulations, Phillies!

The unusual (to say the least), screwy, fealty-unto-television 2008 World Series ended last night -- for real -- and the Philadelphia Phillies emerged victorious over the Tampa Bay Rays (who should nonetheless hold their heads high, as they delivered a smashing season which was great, great fun to observe).

So... Phillies Phans... this message is for you.

Do you know what to do in your new world?

I'm old enough to remember the 1980 championship, and while that's two generations ago in terms of baseball fandom (and more than a lifetime for many phans), I could never feel that bad for the Phils. Not even 30 years? Please, CMAFR. But I accept that the city entire had been bereft of a champion from any corner, which eventually gets tiresome.

Well, there ya go, you got one. Welcome to your new world, and it comes with New Rules. Do you know these? Fans of a newly crowned champion have different, in some ways greater, responsibilities. Follow:

1. You gain bragging rights, but have forfeited bitching & moaning rights. Bragging rights tend to last but one year; B&M rights last for years, decades, even (in one high-profile case) a century or more. You get probably only the one year to brag, so grab it with both hands (and lungs), soak it up, revel in it. When the Phils get eliminated in 2009, you do not regain B&M rights. Those are put on hold for at least ten years. Got that? NO bitching & moaning! (Put another way, demonstrate a higher standard than Yankees fans do, who are perennial B&Mers, and have been on the job since the last title way back in, gosh, 2000. Eight years deprived, oh woe, the agony, the suffering. They boast of the team holding a full 26 titles*, but that is merely a defensive posture, cold comfort against their brief standing drought, isn't it? Honestly, Yankees fans need forty years in the metaphoric desert. Be better than Yankees fans. This isn't asking for so much, really.)

(* The next time a Yankees fan bellows "26!" in your face, ask him or her to, right then, list all 26 championship years. If they get more than five from earlier than 1977, that's probably a real Yankees fan and not some 1990s bandwagoner.)

2. Your "curse" (1987? A building too tall? Please!) is gone. Toast. History. Pushin' up the daisies. Broken. Pinin' for the fjords. GONE! It is an ex-curse. This is non-negotiable. You can remember the curse, recall it (even fondly), think back and laugh -- but you cannot ever again cite it in real time as an excuse for ineptitude, incompetence, misfortune, or on-field failure. Curse broken, all done. Devise a new mythology if the need arises, but leave poor Wm. Penn alone forevermore. If the Phillies don't win again for another two generations, or the Eagles or Sixers or Flyers continue to flail and fail and suck -- it is because they DO suck. No curse. It is gone, and please, do let it go. (Speaking as a Red Sox fan of long standing, let me add that, while an active curse is mildly stupid fun, and marketable, remembering the championship that broke it is far more satisfying.)

3. Think kindly about sharing the wealth. Be magnanimous to fen of those teams still paddling through the darkness, for longer than you did. Those 28 years were not that bad in comparison; there were even two other World Series in the interim. So; memorize this list, teams that have been trophy-bereft for longer (some much longer) than the Phils, and cheer on their efforts as a matter of fellow-fan noblesse obligé. Even if it is a rival team, reach deeper and think well of them when their chances come around. (This does not mean to consider rooting against your Phillies when they are head-to-head. It's a goodwill alliance outreach, not a call for treason.)

Team -- championship drought (years)
Pittsburgh Pirates -- 29.
Seattle Mariners -- 32 (never won, never reached World Series).
Washington Nationals -- 40 (never won, never reached World Series).
San Diego Padres -- 40.
Milwaukee Brewers -- 40.
Houston Astros -- 47.
Texas Rangers -- 48 (never won, never reached World Series).
San Francisco Giants -- 54 (and never in SF).
Cleveland Indians -- 60.
Chicago Cubs -- yep, you know it -- 100, a full century. Ouch.

Don't pity; encourage.

The sun rises today on a world for you only slightly different but in such a significant way. Enjoy the dream fulfilled, the glory, the memories, and use them for proud and noble deeds.

I miss baseball already.